Sleepless Hearts & Forked Roads

It's 11pm and my head has uncontrollable thoughts racing through it at high speeds. Sleep is out of the question. In my youth I wouldn't count sheep but I would count. I would count until I fell asleep. In my adulthood I might play a movie on my phone but sometimes that backfires and I would see the movie to the end. Tonight I write. If I cannot cease my thoughts I might as well let them out the best way I know how. 

I write tonight with a very heavy heart. I thought I could feel God asking me to follow Him in a certain way but that way now has a fork in the road. One in which I could not foresee nor did I have any idea which route to take. What do I do when the forks both seem unbearable? How can I choose that path? How can I choose the other path? How do you know when God is leading and when you are making it up as you go? I am at a loss. But today I felt like I finally might have made some slight progress. I believe I can finally let go and give God the reins. I never knew how that looked until I got a horse. Do I truly have FAITH that God will take care of me? Sometimes I would wonder if He remembered me. He does. He thinks of me more than I think of Him. I feel a little bit stronger. A little bit more secure. I feel The Lord's presence. I feel his arms carrying me so I don't have to choose which fork to take. He has it under control. 

Words

It seen far too long since I've expressed myself through words. Words are so powerful. Words can create joy. Words can cause pain. Words can cause happiness; words can cause strife. Words can heal; words can break. Words can empower; words can deflate. I often ask God to take my ability to speak away so I won't sin with my tongue. I look at my dog, Kona. She has never spoken a word to me. I love her with every bit of love I possess. She has done absolutely nothing to "deserve" my love. She has don't nothing to lose my love. She doesn't lift me up with words. She doesn't tear me down with words. She simply acts. She obeys (the majority of time). She disobeys (at times). No matter what she does, I still love her. All without words. 

People can be so hurtful with their words. I can be having the greatest day of all and if I hear the depressing words from someone (especially someone I love), then it sends me down into a slippery slope of pain. Why do we let words impact us so much? Why do we card so much about what other people think? 

I don't know why you do, but for me, it feels like my nature to desire others to like and love me. And when I learn that they don't, it affects me. But when I hear some hurtful words, it affects me even more. 

I want to find my identity in Christ and believe the truth about the words He had spoken about me. Here are just a few verses about my true identity:

I am a child of God. 

But to all who have received him--those who believe in his name--he has given the right to become children of God. John 1:12

I have been chosen by Him!

For he chose us in Christ before the foundation of the world that we may be holy and unblemished in his sight in love Ephesians 1:4.

I was created on purpose, in Christ, to do great things in His name.

For we are his workmanship, having been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand so we may do them. Ephesians 2:10

These verses help me keep a sober mind about the truth that God says about me. It doesn't truly matter if someone else tells me they don't love me. Yes it hurts-

worse than I could have imagined. But it isn't going to affect my eternal home. My place is with Christ. My identity is in Christ and Christ is in me. Bottom line. 

Thank you, God for helping me learn these truths!!

Your Salvation Will

       As I was driving home from the office one day in January, I decided to play a CD, which is actually rare for me. I usually just drive in silence as an escape from the world. The last song that played was, "If You're Reading This" by Tim McGraw. I didn't cry like I often do when I sing that song but it did move me to pray.
     
       So many people have lost loved ones, family members, children, parents, and friends to death. What did I do to deserve this life so blessed here on this earth? Aside from elderly relatives, I have really only been affected by very few deaths in my short life. How God chooses or allows things to happen, I'm not sure, but what I am sure of is the certainty that Christ's sacrifice is the only thing that can truly give us hope. If we think we have a bad or unfortunate life here on earth, we need  to realize that this earth is not where we will spend eternity. If you don't follow Jesus Christ, then I suggest you either get to know Him, or stay healthy as long as possible to prolong your life because following your death, you will wish you were back here on earth.
      
       It's a hard truth to swallow, but it's the truth. It's the same truth that can set you FREE. If you thing dying without having a Will is bad, I'd hate to know what it's like not having your salvation figured out. Salvation and Wills are a lot alike- you can't get either of them after you die.
      Jesus said, "I am THE way, THE truth, and THE life. No one comes to the Father,   
      except through Me."
                                                                           -John 14:6 (capitals added)

    He didn't say He was A way, A truth, and A life. He said He was THE way, truth, & life. What is stopping you from reaching out to Christ and allowing Him to be your Savior?

Is it submission issues? Do you have a problem submitting to authority? If you have a job and a boss, I'm assuming you are able to submit to that authority.

Is it pride? Are you afraid of giving God the credit for things you believe you accomplished in this life without Him? The only things you've accomplished are because He has allowed you to.

Is it forgiveness? Have you done something so terrible you are afraid you can't be forgiven and aren't worthy of being saved? God saved even the apostle Paul and he persecuted all of the disciples and made it his pre-Christ-life's mission to destroy the gospel.
 
Is it sin? The way you have been living your life has been working out so far so why stop? You are just living for the present. But where do you want to spend ETERNITY? I know where I don't want to spend mine.

       The Bible describes hell as everlasting contempt (Daniel 12:2) and a lake of fire (Revelation 20:11-15).

      We will all be judged one day by God himself and then either condemned or saved. We will be judged according to WHAT WE'VE DONE, whether good or bad (2 Corinthians 5:10). There are no secrets with God. Revelation 20: 15-11 says:

       Then I saw the Great White Throne and Him who sat on it, from whose face the
       earth and heaven fled away. And there was found no place for them. And I saw the
       dead, small and great, standing there before God, and books were opened. And
       another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. And the dead were judged
       according to their works, by the things which were written in the books. The sea gave
       up the dead who were in it, and Death and Hades delivered up the dead who were in
       them. And they were judged, each according to his works. Then Death and Hades
       were cast into the lake of fire. This is the Second death. And anyone not found
       written in the Book of Life was cast into the lake of fire.  
                                                                   -Revelation 20:11-15

       If you read further on into chapter 21, you see some powerful verses. Verse 3 says God is with men and He will dwell with them and they will be His people. God will wipe away every tear from their eyes, no more death, sorrow, pain, and crying. (v4) Verses 5-8 say He will make all things NEW! Whoever overcomes shall inherit all things but the cowardly, unbelieving, abominable, murderers, sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars shall have their part in the lake which burns with fire and brimstone, which is the Second Death.   (paraphrased and quoted from Revelation 21:3-8)

     We must overcome our sin and believe that Christ was raised from the dead to save us in order to have our name written in that Book of Life. My name is written in it! Is yours? If you aren't quite sure then you need to ask Christ to save you! And after you do, you shall become a new creation! You have to get rid of your old sinful ways and become like Christ.

     If anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has gone and the new has come.
                                                                                          -2 Corinthians 5:17


    We must change from our old ways and flee from the evil desires of our hearts. The things you do now may not seem evil to you, but all sin is evil. White lies, gossip, slander, sex with someone other than our spouse, lust, drunkenness- they are all sins punishable by death. We have to become Representatives of Christ. We may be the only Jesus others ever meet. I'll leave you with 3 questions.

1. Is your Salvation Will made yet?
2. Is your name written in the Book of Life?
3. Since your Salvation, have you become a NEW creation and given up your old lifestyle?

It's time to talk to God. Call upon Him. Right now. This isn't something you can procrastinate and get around to it later. Let Him do what Christ died for. He wants to save you.

As my husband says, "Let's Get to Callin".....on God, that is.




    

Psalm 4

Today's Bible reading was awesome!!! I like to read Genesis in the morning and Matthew, Psalms, and Proverbs in the evening.

Psalm 4 really touched me so I want to memorize it. It reads: 

1)  Hear me when I call, O God of my righteousness! You have relieved me in my distress; 

Have mercy on me, and hear my prayer. 

2)  How long, O you sons of men, Will you turn my glory to shame? 

How long will you love worthlessness And seek falsehood? 

3)  But know that the Lord has set apart for Himself him who is godly; 

The Lord will hear when I call to Him. 

4)  Be angry, and do not sin. Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. 

5)  Offer the sacrifices of righteousness, And put your trust in the Lord. 

6)  There are many who say, “Who will show us any good?”                                                                   Lord, lift up the light of Your countenance upon us. 

7)  You have put gladness in my heart, More than in the season that their grain and wine increased. 

8)  I will both lie down in peace, and sleep; For You alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety. 

(Psalms 4:1-8 NKJV) (bold, underline, & italics added)

How comforting this Psalm is!!! It is always nice to hear that being angry isn't a sin in itself although it is easy to sin in our anger. Instead lay down, meditate, and be still. I have learned to do a lot of that this past year. I also like how it is comforting that "You relieve me in my distress" and "Put gladness in my heart." This is a beautiful Psalm! Can't wait to memorize and pray this Psalm!

Have YOU read your Bible today? Get going on it! :)

This is my nephew doing my hair and makeup after Christmas. Although I may look like a clown, I'm thankful he put the lipstick on the lips and not elsewhere; :) my niece helped out a great deal too.

How to begin 2014

2014 has a lot of promise and exciting things to look forward to! THE WINTER OLYMPICS!!! I am a huge fan of ice skating (spectating and doing it myself), Snowboarding (I prefer boarding over watching it but it is still fun!) and those are pretty much my favorites in the winter :)

But more than important than the Olympics....

I feel the Lord has asked to start a revival this year. I wasn’t sure what that meant until He started reminding me that I have still not read the ENTIRE Bible. I have probably read most of it, but I cannot say that I have read ALL of it. I am ashamed to be 28 now and a Christian for over 20 years and to STILL not have the One and Only ordained text we have from our God...completely read.

He placed several girlfriends on my heart this month to offer them a chance to have an accountability group of reading God’s word this year in 2014!! I am so excited to do it!! I have tried once before and made it to May but I made excuses and never finished. I am ashamed of my failure.

I would like to extend the invitation to my blog readers. Would you dedicate this year of 2014 to the year YOU join me in reading the entire Bible? Even if you have read it all before, why not do it again!?!?! Let’s start a revival! If this year succeeds, then next year we could EACH ask 1-2 people to read it with us (and we read it again in a different translation). Can you imagine the kind of revival God will create!?!?! Year after year!!

Please RSVP to this invitation by email (audraleichleiter@hotmail.com), iMessage text (through my iPad), or phone call (although my phone is broken so email/iMessage is best). I am excited to have this accountability!!! I will be sending daily and/or weekly texts/emails and probably blogging about this challenge as well. Please join me! I am so excited to DAILY read God’s precious Word that He has given us!!!!

Please let me know if you want to join in. I am reading this year in the New King James Version. I am thinking of reading ALL of the Bibles I have each year and then buying a new one each year but I'm jumping ahead of myself. I am just SOOOOO Excited!!!!

Here is the link I am using. You can print them off as bookmarks or email me for my version of brightly colored ones :)
http://www.oneyearbibleonline.com/
I'll try to post favorites or most awe-inspiring verses as the days go on. PLEASE pray that God places this on your heart as well and LET'S START A REVIVAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In CHRIST,

Audra!!!

P.S. I've had a few incidents (neck, shoulder) where I've been laid up for a bit so if you're interested in having any hats, scarves, mittens, boot cuffs, etc. knitted or crocheted, please let me know :)

Christmas is here

It is officially Christmas. My husband and I successfully went all of this season without purchasing Christmas decor, items, and gifts. As a disclaimer though he did wish to get a Thank You gift for our pastor's family which we spent money on. 

This has been the most wonderful pre-Christmas season. I have had more time to spend in the Word and God has brought so many topics up to me through my Bible study (self & group). 

I have still not purchased any yarn or clothing for myself. I did purchase 2 new casual scarves to use as slings during my recovery from my shoulder surgery. It hasn't been hard at all to not purchase clothing but the yarn...that's difficult. I have to avoid my favorite craft stores. So hard!

This season has been so wonderful. I have been so blessed with so many people (old and new) in my life and only God can be credited for that. 

My prayer life an Spiritual walk have become so much stronger since my daily Bible reading. 

On my prayers lately have been the Robertson family (aka duck dynasty). They are really good Christian spokes-people and they need our prayers and support right now. They let the light of Christ shine in the mainstream spotlight in a way I have never seen before. I am so thankful they are our family in Christ and how great of examples they are!! Could you try to remember this family next time you talk to The Lord?

More prayers include children and women who cannot bear children (due to internal issues or husband's internal issues, etc.) I'm not sure if I am technically "unable" to bear children because I have been pregnant but I have never successfully given birth, or made it past the first trimester. But now, we simply can't get a positive test. So women who share these problems and trials are dear to my heart. I feel so sympathetic to our desire to raise a child. But I also believe that God is allowing us to go through this to give other women hope and to give them a kind of love and support that they can only find from women in similar situations. Could you take a minute to pray for a woman in your life who is having trouble with conception? I am reminded of a favorite passage of mine:

Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance produces character; and character produces hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. (Romans 5:3-5 NIV)

We REJOICE in our sufferings!! Paul wasn't saying to simply be thankful or optimistic about our sufferings but he said to REJOICE! Rejoice is defined as "to feel or show great joy or delight."

Am I showing delight or joy in my sufferings? I believe I am starting to. I am really thankful that God has given me a platform. An open window into women's lives though this. I am thankful that I have a mother and cousin who volunteered to be a surrogate should I ever need one. That is a very very sweet thing of them to offer. I am thankful for the Biblical women who were barren and had amazing testimonies to be written about. I am thankful my husband doesn't resent me. I am thankful for the extra time I get to spend with other people's children since I don't have my own. I'm thankful I get to teach homeschool PE! 

So much to be thankful for. I am thankful for a young woman who carried my Lord for 9 months to give birth to him so he could sacrifice his life and save us. I am most thankful for that. 

Starting January 1, I will be reading the 1-Year Bible reading plan and would like to invite any readers to join me in an accountability group of readers. Let me know if you are interested! Click below to print out the plan.

http://www.oneyearbibleonline.com/readingplan/oneyearbiblereadingplan.pdf

May God bless your Christmas- but mostly, may you bless GOD with your actions and form of worship on Christmas. To God be the glory!!

Rifle Season

Deer season has arrived! In Nebraska, we have a rifle season that lasts 10 days. It is a huge part of hunter's lives and really exciting too! I have gone deer hunting since I was too young to remember. My mama has always hunted since she was a young girl so she instilled a love for hunting and fishing in me (her only daughter) too! I am so thankful to not only have a dad that hunts but also a mama who hunts too!!

On Saturday, my husband took us to some great land to sit and look for deer. If you haven't ever had the opportunity to do this, let me paint a picture for you. 

You wake up at 4am. 4am. Don't worry, I didn't even know 4am was on a clock either. Then you get coffee (or chai tea in my case) lots of layers of clothes, hunting boots (a gift from my mama at my wedding shower...I kid you not- coolest mama ever) and hats, gloves, etc. Most clothes being camo or hunter orange. 

When I woke up at 4am at the sound of my husband saying "Come on, let's go," I can't say I was too thrilled. Who knows how many times he has to say that before I am conscious of it. He is a really nice "waker-upper." Then I got all my clothes ready, lunch, and a skein of yarn and some knitting needles. I can't be in a car for 40min and not use my time wisely :) 

We arrived at our destination and out we go. We walked a half mile or so through the pasture to sit by some trees with the wind in our faces and a great vantage point of the possible places a deer might appear. 

Rifle hunting is typically during the rut (which in "Bambi Language" is when they get twitterpated- meaning mating season). This means the bucks are letting their intuitions and guard down because their male reproductive instinct slightly over powers their survival instincts. You could say....they get a little unwise. :) Big bucks are hard to find. When someone kills one with a bow, that is a HUGE accomplishment! But we are just speaking of rifle.

On morning one, we did not see any bucks but a couple does. Then we had a coyote come up to us about 80 yards away and my husband shot him. He told me, "That was my first coyote of the year. It kicked off my coyote season." And I got to be there when he shot it! I was really excited when he told me that. I have only been coyote hunting with him on one trip. 

We got up from our spots and went on our way, checking with all of our friends and family on any deer they had killed. Come to find my mama shot a nice buck! As did my nephews! Great first morning! 

We went back out that evening but saw nothing. The next morning we went out, we sat in my favorite spot and I counted 18 deer that we watched. At least 6 were bucks but none were the size he was hoping for. A few of them came 20 yards from us and my rump got so sore from having to sit still (not my strong suit) and not being able to shift my weight without spooking the deer and compromising our hunt and position. We got to watch the "pursue of the doe" first hand while a smaller 4x4 chased after this doe in hopes of sowing his oats. Les told me about the deer mating tendencies while I made up captions to myself like I do when my dog looks at me a funny way. Or when we see 2 pigeons trying to mate- how can you not watch that and make up words for their actions?But back to the doe, If you ask me, she was definitely playing hard-to-get and she seemed to play it pretty well. Each time he would move toward her, she would take 3 steps away. I kind of felt bad for the guy but maybe she didn't like the scent he put on that morning.

It was fascinating to watch and learn but so hard to hold still for that long.

Eventually they left our eyesight and then I even got to read Hebrews on my Bible phone app.

It was an AWESOME morning! So much fun spending quality time with my husband doing when he loves to do. I truly enjoy hunting but I think I could love it more if the sunrise was a few hours later. 

I still haven't filled my tag but I am confident we will get some meat for our freezer! 

Happy hunting!!!